If it snowed.

If it snowed, I would wake up to sights like these:

If it snowed, I would wear warm and fuzzy clothes all day.

If it snowed, I would make as many snowmen as I wanted to.

If it snowed, I would sip on hot beverages all day and not get sick of it.



If it snowed, I would have as many snowball fights as I wanted.

If it snowed, I would learn how to ice skate on frozen ponds nearby.

If it snowed, I would create hundreds of snow angels.

If it snowed, I would sit by a warm fireplace every night.

If it snowed, I would watch snowstorms as often as I could.



If it snowed, I would catch snowflakes on my tongue.

If it snowed, I would sit in the sun for hours and still be cold.

If it snowed, I would eat ice-cream in the snow just for the hell of it.

I wish it snowed.



My Cardboard Life

Do yourself a favour, and go look up this link: http://mycardboardlife.com
I only wish I could claim I was cool enough to make these little cartoon-like things. Sigh.

Graffin' it up, yo.

I know that graffiti is vandalism, buuuuuut I do actually love seeing the amazing artwork people create. (Very much excluding the pathetic names and whatnot.) I'd love to be able to do that with a can of spraypaint, you know... if it wasn't illegal.

Look and marvel at these mad skills.

Sad but true.

Wigga', please.

Wigger: is a slang term for a white person who emulates mannerisms, language, and fashions associated with African-American culture.

You will have seen them. Whether they're walking with a swagger, belting their XXXXXXL pants under their actual bottoms, making sure you can see their boxers that are at least up to their belly buttons, wearing a blinding amount of plastic bling or tripping in their shoes that probably weigh more than they do, wiggers are running rampant in our world.


But why? Why do white males have an urge to emulate all things "African - American"? The African - American men certainly don't have a desire to become a skinny white guy. Totally understandable.


Well.
1) I believe it's got something to do with the fact that black people are just naturally cooler than white people. If you don't see that, you are very oblivious or just incredibly stupid.


2) It's a natural human desire to want to be cool. Therefore linking the previous point.


3) They think that them being "cool" will somehow win them all the babes. Tragically, cool is definitely not what is apparent in these.. erm, hunks.


4) Horrific use of phrases like "Yo nigga wazz da dizzle fo' chizzle?" cause wiggers to not be the most popular of stereotype. Warning, if you spend over 4/5 minutes around this lingo, you may lose control of your limbs, and before you know it, you'll have swatted the "foo". Violence is a no-no. I suppose.


5) People seem to find the 'Wigger Way of Life' very very funny. Laughter is a cert around a wigger. Sadly, as wiggers interpret the hysterical laughter as a "Oh DAYAM! Who is that?!" type of smile, there's seemingly no end to this cycle.


6) Caps are perched on their heads. I'm sure. this requires an enormous amount of balance skills to keep the cap on their heads and dedication as I'm sure their necks must get terribly stiff after a while. I'll give them that much. However, this creates the illusion of a massive head. So in essence, a walking pair of  jeans and a bobble head. Mmmm. Adding to the "allure" of a wigger.


7) Wiggers will post 100000 photos of themselves posing with different gang signs. Just in case you forgot how cool they are.


8) Lastly, please never date a wigger. Not only will you destroy your rep, you'll soon be referred to as part of his "entourage" and by then it'll be too late. You'll be trapped "fo' evah".


If you identify anyone you know as a wigger, please try to discourage this tragic behaviour. They'll thank you oneday.


To conclude, here are some photos just to emphasize my points.

This actually scares me.

Word of the week #1

I, being a bit of an English nerd, love discovering interesting new words. Especially those that just describe the definition down to a tee.

So every week I'm going to post a new word that made me chuckle, "oooooh" or just shake my head...

Here's the first:

(ah-GROOF) — to fall flat on your face

Our people are so wonderful.

Before you read this, please know that the guy who wrote this actually is coloured himself.

Why coloureds can't be terrorists: by MARK LOTTERING


- Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie. We would have told everyone a week
before doing it, telling them: 'Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!'

- Our whole freaking family plus neighbors would have been at the
airport to see us off, crying their "bleddie"eyes out, and your mother
saying to the white ou next to her: 'I'm so proud of him. It's the first
time he's hijacking a plane!'

- We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport go-way clothes:
balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies, dark glasses, en 'n moerse
attitude.

- Ons is altyd laat. We would have missed all 4 flights.

- We'll sommer argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even
get on the plane & one of us is bound to say out loud: 'Gaan kak man!
Dan hijack jy die frikkin plane alleen!!

- Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home..

- Three of us would have overweight luggage.

- All of us would have luggage.

- We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.

- Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane, we'll sommer forget why we're
there.

- We would have all wanted to watch the in-flight movie first

- Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet
to first gel our hair.
- We would have all lined up to get our photograph taken by one of the
hostages

- We praat with our hands, so we'll continually be putting the weapons
down.

- When we entered the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system
for a karaoke session, with one doos trying to sing 'I did it my way'.

- We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending in a "moerse"fight
with each other.

- We would have insisted that the plane fly past Strandfontein
Pavillion.

- We would first rob every one of their Ray-Bans, cellphones and
goldteeth, just before we crash the plane.
- We would have taken the plane for a joyride first, played the music at
full blast and tried to park the plane somewhere where the chicks could
see us...